It just drives me up the wall living with my parents, my mother in particular. The bible says honour your father and mother and I do, i just can’t stand living with them. EVERYDAY I’m criticised and put down by my mother about something. I’m not perfect yes I know but for my mother to constantly nag and nag and nag about mistakes I make or things I overlook. I’m only human. Yesterday she snapped at me because I left a gap when I closed the curtains. The way she went in on me was like I had lit a fire on the carpet. I RESENT HER for always putting me down. I can never do right in her eyes NEVER. I clean and cook to the best of my ability and still take care of my baby but ALWAYS I’ve done something wrong. I will do the dishes after dinner and go to bed and she will come to me telling me ‘NGILITSHAPHA'(translation: clumsy, messy) because she has gone and left a few things in the sink and I get told off for that??? What makes it worse is that I have no friends, no social life. There’s no balance in my life, all I do everyday is clean after her mostly, my baby doesn’t even make the mess she makes. I have to have an excuse to leave the house and when I do leave the house, I have to hurry back. I’m turning 28 this year. I’m here because I have no choice. If I had an alternative I would be long gone I swear on my daughters life. In order for me to continue to honour my mother and father, I desperately need to keep my distance from them and that will only happen in at least 2 years when my baby can go to preschool while I go to work and school to do my master’s degree.
My sister is the only person on this earth who knows what my parents are like. So naturally since I have no friends here to vent to or anything like that I talk to her. She totally gets it most of the time and experiences it too when she comes here on holiday. She has told me that on more than one occasion she has actually considered walking out like no joke. I’ve been there too. My mother is the most overbearing being I know. She’s my mother, I love her but I very much dislike her.
Guaranteed tomorrow I will get told off about something. Story of my miserable life.